Sometimes I feel like throwing it all in the fire.
Every word I have ever wrote.
I can feel it coming with that creeping notion of insignificance. It accompanies that sense of floundering.
I really can’t understand why I insist on holding myself back. I know it is me doing this.
With each breakthrough I set in motion a new trap, a kind of quicksand for myself. Inspiration sparks and that breath of fresh air quickly turns into a kind of suffocating smoke when I perceive that I can never be that - that great - that talented - that successful.
Like a train that often derails, I stumble over myself constantly.
How do I stop this vicious cycle, this harmful, debilitating attack on myself.
I am tired. It wears me down, this state of overwhelm.